Valerie Bertinelli, best known for the classic sitcom One Day at a Time, walked the streets of New York City this week while sharing the mental and emotional storms she’s been battling for years. In a candid Instagram video, the 65‑year‑old talked about how early grief and later abuse shaped her life.
She described herself as “born into grief” when her older brother, Mark, died from accidental poisoning while she was still in the womb. Her parents kept their pain to themselves until she reached her teens, and that silence left a lasting scar.
Later relationships brought more hurt. Bertinelli experienced emotional, mental and verbal abuse, which left her body‑image overhauls and a habit of turning to food and alcohol for relief. “It’s a tribute to our brains, hearts and bodies because they hold trauma,” she said, urging anyone who feels stuck to seek help.
The therapy that helped her: EMDR
Bertinelli can now walk through parts of the city without feeling triggered, thanks to eye‑movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR). The treatment, pioneered in the 1980s, guides patients through rhythmic eye movements or taps while they focus on a painful memory. This process helps the brain re‑process the event, reducing distress.
EMDR runs through eight stages:
- Choose a memory to work on.
- Learn how EMDR works and practice coping skills.
- Identify the images, beliefs, emotions and physical sensations tied to that memory.
- Feel the distress while the therapist moves her fingers or plays alternating tones.
- Replace the negative belief with a positive one.
- Check for lingering tension in the body.
- Close the session, letting calm return.
- Review progress and adjust if needed.
“It’s been a game‑changer,” Bertinelli told followers on Instagram. “If you need help, know that it gets better.”
What’s next for the actress
Bertinelli is preparing to share more of her story in a forthcoming memoir, Getting Naked, coming out March 10. The book will be a series of honest essays about aging, love, friendship and the secrets that have haunted her. She will also discuss body‑image struggles, her drive for perfection, her 2022 divorce from Tom Vitale, and the devastating death of her ex‑husband Eddie Van Halen in 2020.
In addition to her memoir, she plans to include meditations that have helped her heal. As the actress vaulted from a beloved sitcom star to a candid storyteller, she hopes her openness will encourage others to confront trauma and find relief through therapy.
Source: New York Post
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