Dear Abby: Losing a spouse after 50 years of marriage is heartbreaking, especially after a long illness. That’s the tough spot a Texas widow finds herself in just two months after her husband’s funeral. She shared her story in a recent Dear Abby column, explaining how an old friend—who also lost his partner last year—reached out with condolences. Now, they’re staying in touch and thinking about dating.
On one side, she feels she gave her husband everything during his life and doesn’t want to seem disrespectful to him, her kids, or his family. But she also doesn’t want to spend her days alone. “Is it too soon?” she asks.
Abby, the advice columnist, gets it—grief doesn’t follow a strict schedule. You might start processing the loss even before the person passes. Still, she suggests taking it slow. “After only two months, you may be jumping the gun a bit,” Abby advises. Spend time getting to know your friend again without rushing into dating. It’s fine to hang out for emotional support, but give it another six to nine months so it doesn’t shock your loved ones who just want you happy.
If you’re navigating widow dating after loss or dealing with grief timelines, this hits home. Many people wonder about finding love again after bereavement, and experts often say there’s no one-size-fits-all answer—listen to your heart while respecting your healing process.
Neat Grandma Faces Backlash for Cleaning Sons’ Messy Homes
Family visits should be all about quality time, right? But for one North Carolina grandmother, trips to see her married sons and grandkids have turned into cleaning marathons. She loves pitching in—emptying sinks, scrubbing bathrooms, sweeping floors, dusting, and even doing laundry. She always asks first, and they usually say yes since they’re busy with work and kids.
Lately, though, she’s picking up on some tension. Her sons hint that she makes them feel judged, like she thinks their homes are dirty. “Cleanliness isn’t a priority in our lives,” they tell her. So, she’s decided to stop the deep cleans. But now she’s second-guessing: Is it wrong to want to help? Does anyone else do this?
Abby weighs in with straight talk. If they’re saying it’s not a big deal to them, your efforts might come off as unappreciated—or even a bit obsessive. Sure, plenty of helpful family members tidy up or rearrange things without asking (we’ve all heard those stories). But under these circumstances, it’s probably best to back off. Focus on playing with the grandkids instead of polishing mirrors. Setting family boundaries like this can keep visits fun and stress-free.
Grandparenting tips often stress respecting adult kids’ homes, and this column nails why good intentions can sometimes cross lines. If you’re a neat freak visiting family or struggling with household habits, you’re not alone—it’s a common clash in multigenerational homes.
A Warm Wish for Rosh Hashana
As the sun sets tonight, Jewish communities around the world will welcome Rosh Hashana, the start of the New Year. It’s a time for reflection and renewal. Dear Abby extends heartfelt greetings: “L’shana tova tikatevu”—may you be inscribed in the Book of Life for a sweet and good year ahead.
Dear Abby is penned by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jeanne Phillips, continuing the legacy started by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Got a question? Reach out at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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