Jen Hatmaker’s world shattered in the early hours of July 11, 2020. The Christian author and former HGTV star woke up at 2:30 a.m. to hear her husband of 26 years, Brandon Hatmaker, whispering sweet nothings on the phone to another woman. “I just can’t quit you,” he murmured before passing out, reeking of alcohol. As she shares in her new memoir “Awake,” out September 23 from Avid Reader Press, that moment marked “the end of my life as I knew it.”
Hatmaker, now 51, had built a life around faith and family. As a pastor’s wife and mom to five kids, she inspired millions through her bestselling books and social media posts on Christian values. Together with Brandon, she co-founded the evangelical Austin New Church in Texas back in 2008. They even starred in the HGTV show “My Big Family Renovation,” showcasing their blended family of three biological kids and two adopted ones. The couple stood out in evangelical circles for supporting gay marriage, earning them a “cool Christian” vibe.
But that night, reality hit hard. Hatmaker almost couldn’t believe it. “I almost disassociated,” she told The Post. “It was so outside the realm of what I would have ever considered a possibility for our life, our marriage, our story.” For the next four hours, she dug through his computer, uncovering a “trail of betrayal.” The affair had lasted a “devastating time span,” and Brandon had showered his girlfriend with expensive gifts, leaving their finances in chaos. She kept most details private in the book, focusing instead on the heartbreak.
When Brandon woke up, Hatmaker kicked him out. “It was so shocking and stunning, I almost could not process it,” she said. “I couldn’t even cry.” In the months after, depression and anxiety gripped her as she parented three teens, a remote college student, and a recent grad—all alone during the COVID-19 pandemic. She didn’t even know how to manage their bank accounts. After years of advising Christian women to claim their agency and build strong relationships, Hatmaker felt like a total failure. “I did not know if I was ever going to be happy again,” she admitted.
Her roots ran deep in conservative faith. Growing up in Kansas as the oldest of four, Hatmaker’s dad was a progressive Southern Baptist minister who stirred trouble by letting women preach in Sunday school. Still, the church culture stressed men as leaders—pastors, family heads, spiritual guides—while women played support roles. She married Brandon at 19, right as he trained to become a pastor. They met at a Baptist youth camp in Oklahoma and dreamed big together.
Cracks in their marriage showed up long before 2020. Hatmaker reveals they hadn’t been intimate for two years. In April 2020, they started counseling. “I thought we were deeply working to repair,” she said. “We had kind of reconnected sexually.” But red flags waved: constant phone secrecy and unexplained absences. Hatmaker ignored them, not wanting to face the truth. After the affair came out, Brandon offered no real effort to fix things. “Trying requires certain feelings to be there,” he told her, “and they aren’t anymore.” A year later, he got engaged to someone else.
“Awake” goes beyond just the divorce story. To rebuild financially, emotionally, and spiritually, Hatmaker had to leave not only her husband but also the church world that shaped her career. Returning to Austin New Church felt too raw. “I found the environment so triggering,” she explained. “I had to bear the weight of everyone else’s shock, their sadness, and even worse, their pity. I just couldn’t handle it.” Now, she explores faith outside traditional spaces. “I am not saying that I will ever go back to church, but I am also not saying that I will never go back,” she said.
Today, Hatmaker embraces her fresh start. She no longer grieves the marriage and loves her newfound freedom. In August, she became a grandma for the first time. She’s in a long-distance romance with author Tyler Merritt. And through “Awake,” she wants to empower other women facing upheaval in their relationships or faith journeys. “I am in the driver’s seat,” she declared. “I’ll never outsource my life again.”
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